two wrongs don't make a right. She's trying to control everything and it's because there is no order or control in her own life, i.e., her brain is running thousands of miles a minute. In other words, she's trying to create order from the chaos in her mind.
Sometimes, they do and say things to bait you into an argument. Dont' take the bait. Just let the comments go, in other words choose your battles. There will be times when you will need to call her on her behavior and you'll know when those times are...
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
