W was upset again last night. I let S12 watch D2 and S4 while I went to a religious function for 2 hours that did not allow kids. W said S12 was not ready to watch younger children. This is odd to me since it was OK for S12 to watch our younger children from Jan-Mar this year when we went to counseling. Just wasn't an argument I was going to win. I said I'd find a different solution next time.
This morning, however, I grew a backbone. I texted that S12 was going to watch younger siblings for 1.5 hours on Saturday morning. W expressed concerns again. I made comparison to S12 babysitting during counseling and asked her what had changed.
She then asked why I needed a sitter. I didn't tell her. Instead, I told her that 2 issues were involved. 1) Is S12 mature enough? 2) What am I doing? I said I was willing to talk about kids because they are hers too. She has a say in there care. I also said that if she was interested or curious about what I was doing that we could talk like friends. I would share my stories, and she could share hers. I said that I would not keep her informed of my plans if she only wanted to judge me for them. She would not want me to judge her. I said that I thought this was a good boundary until both of us were willing to work on the relationship.
What do you think? Did I screw up? I see it as an attempt to go dark and wait for her to respond.
