^^^ both good suggestions shiss! Azguy has been in your shoes and is still going after D. You don't have to give up hope.
I'm going to consider your meditation IO. It feels productive, like something to do when you can't control anything.
It's been a week & a couple days since you've heard from H? What are you doing to occupy your time and refocus your energy? Set yourself small goals, like revaluate how you're feeling about reaching out to H on Sunday. Make it to Sunday, then see how it feels then.
When/if you do take a step in reaching out, send a message that you don't need a reply like IO said. It'll be sure to take off all pressure. In the mean time, take care of yourself and think about how to find joy in your life.
