I like the idea of Love Dare, although I think that many people who come here (when the M is all but done) are well past a Love Dare solution.
I think a lot of young people initially worry about having kids and eventually change their minds. That you are reconsidering having children, just be sure that it is something that you would like, even if it ends up not with your H. That you would not be using it as a bargaining chip, just to get him back.
You say it would be difficult to speak your H's LL because your not with him. What's his LL?
Do your best to not worry about whether your H is with OW. If he's in crises, he may do a lot of things that he would not otherwise do. If there's an OW, it's a band aid solution and is not likely to last. An OW is a symptom of the underlying problem.
Your emotions are all over the place and it appears that showing or expressing your emotions is normal for you. That is OK. Although you will do well to get some help, in some form, to manage those emotions. Not stuffing them, just understanding them so that you can stop being as re-active.
We talk about detaching and that means becoming less emotionally attached to things that he may say or do, right now. That does not remove the love, it just helps you to reason through things.
A simple tool to help detach is to count to ten when you feel a reaction coming on. Also, stepping away from the situation as quickly and calmly as you can and get yourself to a place where you can calm down. Just going for a walk will help you do that.
Find other resources and support for that.
Is your eye problem degenerative, or has it been life long? You indicate that you can not drive because of it and in the same sentence you say it's hard to GAL. Are you equating your eye problem with GAL? There are many things that people can do to GAL that does not have to be out of the home. Did you have any hobbies in the past that you might get back into?
