Your both so right, I was/am headed right into a "whirlpool of despair" I don't understand how I got here, I know better, I know what I want, so why the emotional overload? I'm a smart girl, why am I so emotional over something I have already come to terms with?
My best guess is that I am just really lonely. My S's and D all have other's they are spending time w/and getting L from, and I feel like how the hell did I become the one w/out a partner. I'm the floater in all our family games, granted they fight over me because I'm smart, but I want my own partner!
No, I have nothing in the works for myself. I have always had a very strong fight or flight personality and lately I have been considering flight. H commented on how he stays home because of my satellite tv, and comfortable living. Well, the only way to cut that is to move! He asked me not to move because than he would worry about me, F u H!
I need to work on myself, I know, I'm kinda sick of myself right now, I'm alone alot. Polka dots on my blue wall, hum I am thinking of learning to build a patio! But, I get it, I need to focus, regain my strength I have and get back on path. Thank you so much for caring, this is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through, and sadly you all can relate!
The past can't be ahead of you in the future. You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction. What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!
