Tired- We are living under the Big Tent and they are they guys in the crazy mirror! Even though we know it's fog spew, it doesn't feel good to have you H say he can't stand you. He is so wrong, and so self indulgent that he lashes out to you to make himself feel justified.
It sounded like he was say, "no mom, I wasn't, I really wasn't!" If he's seen you cry once, your doomed to be the crier, the one who is holding on. My h said that last week when I said see dry eyes, he said well you did cry so I know you want things normal, you want me back!
Hang on, I think a few of us are approaching a very strange stage in our LBS experience, it was great for you to vent here and get out of his face!
Hang on baby, it's gonna be a long ride!
The past can't be ahead of you in the future. You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction. What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!