The visiting thing, that's not in your custody order is it, I thought you had joint custody? Is your X making you the bad guy, telling your kids that you don't want to see them or something? My kids tend to ask if things are ok with their dad; my D13 has called him the "decider", but they also are into being fair and equal time and 50/50 and value that concept. You don't need to play X's games; let your L handle that; but I would try to communicate some of what's going on with your kids.
