Parental issues tend to suck especially when they are controlling. I'm sorry she's having to deal w/all of this now and also having to go back in time and relive that as well.

I do hope that all of the information that you are reading is helping you to better understand where she's at. Being a spouse of someone going through mlc is not easy.

Be kind to yourself and be sure to do some fun things to help take your mind off the situation for a little bit.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.