I'm not surprised to read that she's pleasant today after her latest rampage. They do tend to go off the deep end and then later act as if nothing has happened. It's the emotional crisis and they can't handle/cope very well w/anything that upsets them.

If your w wants to talk and she asks questions, by all means answer them. Follow her lead. If something isn't working, try something else.

Yes, she's starting to panic and no, she doesn't see the light or what she had. All she wants to do right now is to run away and start the wonderful fantasy life.

I created a thread many years ago about why they run. Have you read it? It might give you a bird's eye view of why they do run.

Hang in there.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.