Every item on your list is something she's doing to which you're reacting. I get it, it's hard not to but it's doable. First you have to see it and accept it.
SP, when I read your response I thought this EXACT same thing, but I was hoping someone else would say it first so that you wouldn't think I was being biased towards my earlier post. I really don't think you are even remotely detached. You're taking everything your W says and does personally, and that is the opposite of detachment. You resent the fact that she is still living there and that is the opposite of detachment. If you were well and truly detached, you wouldn't care whether she lived there or not. You wouldn't care whether she talked to others or not. You might feel bad for her that she was hurting so much, but you wouldn't hold it against her like you are clearly doing. There's a lot of anger and resentment in your posts and I think you're ignoring it or putting a different name on it.
Originally Posted By: suckerpunch
They weren't exactly concerned about the impending divorce as much as they were hurt by Wifes actions towards them. Now, I could have chose to completely ignore the fact it happened, but that would not change other peoples feelings, nor would it have changed the awkwardness at the BBQ...Plus, I don't wish to detach from these other people so when W affects them emotionally, it is going to affect my emotions as well.
Who says you need to ignore it? Just tell them you're sorry your W upset them, but she is going through a lot right now and she is in pain. Tell them that she will heal and you're sure all will be well between her and them again, they just need to have a little patience with her.
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I already have some customers that say they are considering not coming to stay anymore because they feel awkward with W being there.
Sounds like this is much ado about nothing since she's going to be gone soon anyway.
