I'm trying real hard to be the Shepard.

[Mtnman]

Thanks for the comments rH, Portia, and T^2. I know there will be times in the future where I'll be angry and down, but I hope to not dwell on that.

I had always told W, no matter what I say or do while giving her space, always know I haven't quit loving you or wanting to be married to you. Maybe the fact I haven't pursued and am acting "ok" has her questioning that. Could possibly be the reason she asked last week if I needed to finalize things. When I responded, with all y'all's help, it let her know I haven't moved. She can relax and go about her business, replay or whatever.

Portia, I'm sure you can look back on my posts and see anger too. Lots of it. And there is some anger still and will be. How could there not be, this is brutal stuff. I wouldn't treat my worst enemy the way I've been treated. But, I am trying to not let it consume me. I'm winning that battle today.

I was thinking about the Israelites in the wilderness. God provided manna from heaven everyday. If they tried to store it, it spoiled. He promises daily bread. I've always tried to store up bread for, not just tomorrow, but 6 months/15 years from now. I'm learning to see, and enjoy the daily bread. I'm tired of the mlc diet.