Stuck..how do I get out???

[BRNR]

I feel weak most days. I feel like a fool for sticking with this when it is clearly going nowhere. I know it would be hard to see this, but I think I would actually be better if he weren't here. When you are home together seeing the H run around all the time right in front of your face is so painful.

Honestly, I get this, and can empathize why you feel this way and the pain. I feel the same way. H being at home or not. The thoughts of it and the actions and words that are said when I do speak to my H are still clear that all the same things are going on. IDK. I guess it still is painful is what I am saying.

Between being an adolescent now and the probs at home I feel sorry for him and he is really acting out. That is the main reason I tried to be stronger. He made a comment once to me that seeing me sad all the time was upsetting him a lot. I am working on being stronger for them...and I guess also for me to try and get past all this.

This is why you are strong. I saw how painful it was for my kids in the beginning and now that I keep myself more composed, I see how much more settled they are. This is a definition of strength if you ask me.

Believe me, I think you are much better off with the H out of the home. Grass is always greener....

Maybe. IDK. Dealing with him yes. For him to see the things he is missing out on with his children and even me, NO. I really do believe my H is long, long, gone in that way...so take what you will.