We are always responsible for our actions, SemperFi00. Always. Regardless of the "reason". Just as you are responsible for yours. But it's not uncommon for a MLCr to leave a wake of destruction behind them. Often a big crater. My C once commented it was like an IED went off next to me. Both of us were hurt by it. Nobody got away unscathed.
Yes, 2.4 it is entirely possible that many of the "reasons" will morph into something else as she copes and deals. Remember she is also going through loss and grief etc. She isn't reacting the same way and as the "responsible" party, carries more of the burden. It's been my experience that they shut down that part of them as they can't deal with it right now. During that time, we see this as they "lost" their empathy capabilities. I doubt that's the case. More like they are overloaded and short-circuit looking for a way to "repair" themselves. I don't think time, as we know it, is the same for them. At least not in the way we're used to it.
The harder part is if they later decide to face their pain. Many don't but rather keep running hoping it won't catch up. I hope for mine it never does, but I doubt that will happen. Instead I see changes creeping in. As I don't talk to her you may wonder how that is possible? It's because she won't stay gone. But as I change and have not and do not allow her to dump her anger on me, she is forced to find another outlet. All while trying to deal with "life" as it is now. Her new husband, the kids, new job, new house...new life and how she got there. But they are always looking for the "reason" to help solve what they hide from everyone else. They keep processing. Or so it seems. Who really knows but the person that is undergoing it?
But I know from what I see and saw that they do feel it. They express it differently than they might have prior to the episode beginning.
The world continues to spin and stops for nobody. That's why you'll read on the boards how the MLCr will sometimes "check" to see that their LBS is right where they left them. Like a child leaving their parents does. In my opinion anyway. Time is slippery.
Peace, AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
But it's not uncommon for a MLCr to leave a wake of destruction behind them. Often a big crater. My C once commented it was like an IED went off next to me. Both of us were hurt by it. Nobody got away unscathed.