so hard not to email...I just continue to NOT get how he can so easily leave our great family. We are surrounded with frinds that have great families. He doesn't see the gift that it is! I'm not calling, texting, emailing. He does not miss us! He's busy doing his own thing. Want to vent. want to scream! will it do any good? Not to him only release some of my tension! I know the thing with the OW is stupid and a train wreck! To be honest... I like me. What I need to work on in regards to H? I didn't stroke his ego enough. I was tired at the end of the day and not into his marathon sex. I was a backseat driver. I was too opinionated. I made fun of his job.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
H was over last night after work to see kids before he leaves town again for rest of week. When I say over, it was for a total of about 30 minutes. I see such sadness in his face. We did have a chuckle about some HW S 16 was doing. But the sadness is there. It makes me think of the Cheryl Crow song...
"If it makes you happy, why the hell are you so sad"
Would like to email this phrase to him!!! I spend a lot of time reading here. When I feel strong urges to email him, I come here... Could spend an entire day here reading, but need to study, look for a job, take care of my household, gal, exercise, sleep. Not enough hrs in a day! I sleep too much!
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
This has been going on coming up on a year now. I am still unwilling to accept situation. Anniversary coming up in May. This is when it all began last year...
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
This is what worked for me. I let.my wife think about our relationship on her own terms. Sometimes she seemed.like she was just having fun without me and things were not going to come back around. Sometimes I could see that she missed me. The important thing was that I didn't get in he way of all of these feelings and thoughts she needed to have. I didnt interfere with her own process of discovery.
While she was going through that..... I went through my own process of discovery. I thought about what I needed to do differently. I thought about my boundaries...what I was willing to accept and what I wasnt. I made some quick improvements and focused on those to make them stick. I focused on me and the kids.
I understand how frustrating it can be when tor H doesn't understand how good he has it right there at home. If that is such an attraction...how do you show him it is and what he is missing? By GAL...By being the best mom possible...By being a great woman... All of those things take yor effort and focus. You don't have much time for him if you work on these things if this is what you want
Being visually upset and consumed by his actions isn't going to attract him.
Yes we did/are! Things are going well so far. Physical relations are on hold right now but that's ok.......for now. Any questions fire away.
Thank you. I really don't want to hijack this thread but would love your advice on my sitch please? Would really like to know how long you were separated, if there was a OM etc. Thank you.
W 39 Me 33 M 9yrs 8 year old Son ILYBINILWY - Dec 12 W moved out - Jan 2013 OM - Jan 2013 I file for D - May 2013
I was driving D to school after ortho app this am. all of a sudden, got so sad. Just wanted to get back home. could feel it whelming(sp) up inside of me. Just want to get under my covers and cry. But can't! too much to do! H will ask about appointments and stuff to do with D. I feel like saying...why should you get to know? You have chosen to separate yourself from our family. But, I don't. I tell him what he wants to know and stay positive. I have to constantly remind myself if this is bringing me closer or farther. Its exhausting! I need to read more of others situations here and get connected with those in similar situations just to share this tremendous craziness that has been thrown upon us. I read others sits and feel like I am on the outside looking in. Some seem that they have established close friendships.know each others stories. I want that too! Thank you mylifex6 for reading my post. I am usually happy and busy when he is around. Sometimes when he is over I'll sit a minute to chat-mostly about kids schedules. Never bring up R talk.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
Hey. We are all in this together in one way or another. Ill try to help when I can but I don't know everything either.
Good move communicating about kids. Don't hold any of that. He is their father regardless. If you hold back. You give him something to hold against you but more importantly your kids have something to hold against you. Be the better person here and set a good example. If he holds out on you....you still need to not hold info from him.
Sadness is normal when going through this type of stuff. Its OK to feel that way. Just don't get bogged down by it. Anytime I could feel it starting to consume me I went and did something to cheer me up. Even if it was just a little it helped
Read the other posts around here and you will find that your not the only one and there is a lot of positive help.
