Taking a step back-a fresh start

[cbtdad]

Mach,
You are definitely right on some of that. It certainly looks like I am trying to manipulate her. Even though that isnt what I am trying to get across. Controlling and manipulative are a couple reasons I am in this position to begin with. Thank you for pointing that out. Thats crazy that I didn't feel that way at all when I was sending those texts, but you point them out and I see it now. I do it without even knowing. Thats scary.
My whole reasoning for sending what I sent and asking is because she had already lined babysitter to pick son up from school but I wanted to get him from babysitter if possible. i also want her to put her son before these shows. The one thing that everyone around her sees is that son is taking a backseat to her horseworld. Its very selfish, but I cant control and thank you for reminding me of that.
I am not concerned with her making arrangements with other guy. I already know they wil be spending plenty of time together. I have come to accept that and realizse that she has to figure out what she wants. Much like I am trying to figure out what I want at this point. It definitely stinks thinking about it, but I actually feel better when I remind myself over and over that I cant control it