I think that they were talking about an opening, how to get the guys attention sort of thing. I certainly would say it should be an all the time sort of thing. Since I am 5'3" I often find myself having to reach for something on the top shelf. I don't usually ask anyone for help but maybe have to step on the bottom shelf to reach.
I have had some nice guys offer to help and I usually take them up on it. Now I suppose if there was a guy I wanted to meet, I could ask him to help. I see that as an ice breaker.
I suggest really looking at your reasons when you have the desire to step in and help. I think it is a great quality but what are you getting out of it?
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
All excellent points. Wait to be asked. Everyone wants a "Nice Guy" but they don't want to lose their independence either ( well, most don't). I think you wanted her to become dependent on you - so she would stick around once she saw how much she needed you as you did make her life easier. But people Do like to take advantage of someone so willing. & it gets old fast.
Just date. When Josh & I got together we only focused on our time together. No errands, chores or day to day stuff. We kept homes & jobs out of it. That came a long time later when we moved in together.
I like what you're saying Barb. Just date (sounds like a Nike commercial lol). I really enjoyed when her and I were just going places together and enjoying each others company. That was so nice. It was all the other continual crap that weighed things down. Something very important to remember for next time.
...now as far as the "relationship expert", he's right. We guys love to be asked for help. It shows the lady is respecting our smarts, our strength and abilities. It's also straight forward and easy to understand. Tell me what you like and I'll do it! When it comes to "how do you feel about..." we get messed up lol. We guys like to fix things, and that can drive women nuts, "I didn't ask you to fix it, I asked you to listen". And yes, Kat was right, he was talking about initial connection and to tell a man you need him for something is darn attractive!
My co-worker/friend was telling me about the marriage problems he's having with his wife. They`re the same ones he's been having for the entire ten years I've known him. It's good to see that some things always stay the same!
re: the above post, I think it was in the DB book that I read most couples never solve their issues no matter how long they're married, they just learn to approach them differently.
It depends what the problems are and how severe. Plus it depends on the individuals in the relationship. What may seem like a huge problem to one couple may not seem so bad to another.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Results came in from my Mom's breast cancer operation. No further traces of cancer. So, in three weeks she will most likely begin radiation treatments as a precaution. Good news!
