Just had the following text exchnge with W. Did I handle this ok? WC = babysitter Me: All I'm asking you is to give me an idea so I can plan whether i need to get him from WC or not tomorrow.
Me: Also, his last day of school is at noon on may 17th. So now we have to figure that out around your surgery as well
W: Ok I'm not able to answer your question. I'll get back ASAP Tomororw
Me: I understand you might not be able to answer it right now. I was asking for an idea. 4? 5? 6? Then I figured you would let me know tomorrow when you where leaving Show. That's all
W: Lets say 5 and ill let you know
Me: Thank you. Fair enough. Now depending on my day I'll have an idea whether or not to get son from WC
Me: btw, Put WC on alert for 5/17 as well
W: Ok but can you focus on what needs to be done now. I'm not mad or blaming you but this is really stressing me out and making me not want to go
Me: Huh? Not wanting to go where
W: to the show
Me: Wife, you need to do this show. You have been preparing for this show for a while. I certainly do not want to add any stress to your plate. It's just that this show is 2 weeks and then next thing you know you have this surgery. I'm jut trying to line up my end of things that's all. If there is something I can do to help you, within reason, let me know
W: I understand. I'm just freaking out and I'm not enjoying it.
W: Nothing seems to get done with anything unless I'm on top of it and I feel like I'm letting everything fail
W: House, Son, show. Everything
Me: You are not letting everything fail. I can understand with everything going on why you would feel that way. I'm trying to help you where I can. That's why I'm asking the things I do.
Too much pressure placed on something that you "want" her to do...
You asked her once what time she would be back, and she had already said that she didn't know...
So MAKE THE ARRANGEMENTS, and let her know what they are when she gets home....
You are a parent too.....right ?
CB...
There is so much wrong with that up there ^^^^
You are still trying to control her , and manipulate her...
You are using your son, to guilt her...
All under the premise, that you WANT her to do this....
And there is little room for validation, AFTER you have pushed her into a corner...
What I sense, is that you want her to do this, as long as she tells you exactly what she is doing, and what time she is leaving, and that she will still be back in time to take care of your Son. And that if she HAS to be home, because you didn't/won't make arrangements for him, then she will have ZERO time, to spend around this other guy....
How close am I ???
It should have went down something like this...
ME= W , Since you aren't sure what time you would be back, I went ahead and made arrangements for Son to be at (X place). Just let me know when you are back, so we can make plans.
