Nero, Sounds like the conversation went well and you laid all of your cards on the table. He doesn't want to let go of "mom's" apron string. Yes, he does have a lot of fear of the unknown if you two go your complete separate ways. He feels comfortable w/you and right now, the living arrangements suit him because he can't commit to a long term relationship, i.e., marriage, while being married to you.
You are right about one thing, he could set things up so that you wouldn't have to worry about expenses and the repairs on your home if you were divorced. They use all sorts of excuses to return to the home to repair things and it's to see if things have changed since they have been gone. In many instances, it's to see if another man has entered their "territory". They like us to remain right where they left us pre-crisis and unfortunately, that doesn't work because we grow and begin our own travels and life doesn't stand still.
I think what is happening to you is that you are detaching mroe and more every day. I would venture to say that your conversation yesterday will give him cause for concern and he's going to come up and try to "repair" those things around the home and see just where your head, heart and soul are. He senses that you are definitely pulling away and he knows that he's got to do somethng to reel you back in.
Nero, you will be okay. You are a strong, wise and independent woman. Don't beat yourself up too much because mlc is not easy to deal w/on any given day.
Please do something nice for yourself today. You deserve it.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
