i'm in this mess rite along with you all too - this is really well put- and thanks for the thought -:
Quote:
However, accepting is not the same thing as agreeing, or being ok with the sitch. It is absolutely fine, and good I think, that you are NOT ok. Because it shows you are a person of commitment and integrity. You may accept the reality of how your M is now without accepting the terms of the M.
today- reality is all around me. i'm not freaked or panicked. i'm kindly of deadly acdepting - yet i felt compelled yesterday to voice my non-alignment with what he thinks our life could or should be. i'm not good with it- i'm not good with my "place" in his life & heart.
it's a bad deal for my heart. perhaps financially it's for my own good - maybe even that is not enough to keep me attached. going to see wtf is up with him- he comes up here tomorrow. fingers crossed i remain calm.
was calm & deadly yesterday and very darn devoid of huge emotion. unlike me totally- hopefully it sticks. i have no intention of competing with whoever else he has in his life- like me -love me for what and who i am - or not. i'm not "becomig someone new" for you.
it's not in me to be other than i am. even being patient and concilliatory and dbing sometimes feels like fraud to me.
oh well-
hang on - good luck - another traveller here on same journey
