Struggling and need help

[reachingHigher]

Hi CB!

I wanted to share my experience about the pressure to move also.

Last June my H said he was never coming back (to me or M or home, etc.). The next week I clearly remember him in our kitchen asking me "how much do you think we could get for this place?". (we have a 20 acre homestead 45 minutes out of a big city)

Well, I discussed it practically with him. The market isn't good, difficulties of selling the unique place we have, impact on our two sons ... as well as ... advantages of having a smaller place to take care of, closer to the city and social functions, schools, etc.

It's the way we have always discussed things.

Well...as time went on, D papers were drawn up in a few months, and I was still living here with the boys. We decided to sell when I was ready (thinking of the impact on our boys mostly) and divide the proceeds.

Around Christmastime H decided to delay D, then decided to work on our R, and now is on planning on moving back home in June this year. No more talk of selling the place. He seems very happy here.

The advantages/disadvantages of selling and moving versus staying here still stand.

I really approached it without emotion (so I felt) and didn't validate his feelings or anything. Just pointed to the facts.

So...just wanted you to see how much someone can change their perspective in the course of a year.

I think all the ideas KD gave you are excellent. It's awkward to have to discuss something like moving, changing jobs, schools, etc. all on someone's feelings that may change.

She may just be exploring her options, and like KD said, may eventually start wondering if it's such s good idea.

Yesterday, I was listening to Bob Seger's "roll me away" and the girl goes with him for a while ... she says "I, too am lost" but then later:

"Somewhere along a high road
The air began to turn cold
She said she missed her home"

You can see how this can happen.

You're doing great, Charlie Brown.
Keep going!
rH