Today has gone from bad to worse. I've pretty much had it with this pointless pursuit of something that is neither getting me anywhere, nor is it appreciated. It's been my turn to "carry the load" for nearly two years, and I'm not just a little sick of it. I can't say that H hasn't done anything in those two years, but it's not feeling like enough to me. Of course, we pretty much had it out; and he's still sitting in his self-righteous little world asking "Who me?" Grrrr...
Today, he said we'd talk about it some more, and then he called just an hour ago to tell me he'd decided not to come over tonight. Chicken!
Setting aside the fact that he's really only avoiding me and prolonging my misery (I am miserable), I told him that I didn't appreciate him just changing his plans at the last minute. He tried every argument he could think of to get out of that one, as though I had accused him of being evil. (He really does think I'm calling him evil; which isn't true of him or my feelings about him, which makes me evil for saying anything at all. Nobody wins in H's world.) Finally he concluded that it's my fault he can't come over, because he had only put off his own plans to do something for me because I was annoyed he hadn't done it already. Funny, he didn't ask my opinion before he ASS-umed I'd rather spend the evening alone. AND He also told me that I should have ASS-umed he wasn't coming over tonight because I knew what he was doing this afternoon. I'd never be able to get away with saying that kind of baloney to him.
I've grown very tired of the whole "you imagined it" argument, which is just another way for him to avoid his share in this mess. When do I get to have a bad day or say the absolutely wrong thing or be unhappy with the state of things and have HIM be understanding, forgiving and kind about it? Aaaah!
