If I take off from work I could pick them up. I did that two weeks ago when I had scheduled C session. When X arrived she told them to get in her car and they did.
I'm thinking the only way to stop X from taking them would be a restraining order to keep her off my property. They both have cell phones (on her plan) and if she texts them she's coming to get them they will follow her instructions. DS has even asked "did mom say it was OK"?
I really don't know what to do except wait for a court date.
"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12 Bomb and OM 12/15/06 Separated 01/02/07 Divorced 05/13/08 X married OM(OMH) 08/2009 Married 06/09/13
The "confrontation" will come shortly after when she shows up to take them ( they have phones and court ordef forbids "free communication" between parents and children). I play by hhe rules. She will bark and they will jump.
I am changing lawyers as I am dissatisfied with the mistake in the letter and lack of aggressive action by my present one.
"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12 Bomb and OM 12/15/06 Separated 01/02/07 Divorced 05/13/08 X married OM(OMH) 08/2009 Married 06/09/13
Is it really a mistake? That may be the legal term for this situation even though you have joint custody, it may still be called visitation in this context - don't jump to conclusions.
If you pick up the kids and take them with you, your fear is that the kids will call mom to pick them up? Do you really believe the kids don't want to be with you? I would pick them up, explain the terms of custody in the divorce papers, explain that their mom doesn't have the right to unilaterally decide for all of you, and have some honest discussion with them about their fears/concerns/desires. And tell them it's your turn. Simple.
I think it was a mistake. L's secretary described it as a "choice of wording." Probably won't matter in the long run.
DD does not want to live with me at all now. DS was torn but I believe he has gone over now. Path of least resistance with X, private room and perks there he won't have with me
The law is on my side but the desires of the children and emotion is on X's now. X having them the past three weeks has only made things worse. It's going to be me against the three of them in court I fear.
"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12 Bomb and OM 12/15/06 Separated 01/02/07 Divorced 05/13/08 X married OM(OMH) 08/2009 Married 06/09/13
New L contacted. Lives in my county (same as court order). I have appointment at 10:00 AM. He says he will immediately file against X for "contemt of court" for violating custody orders.
"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12 Bomb and OM 12/15/06 Separated 01/02/07 Divorced 05/13/08 X married OM(OMH) 08/2009 Married 06/09/13
This is the right next step to take. Leave the kids at school today and let ex take them as she will. Don't go early or you are playing her game and stooping to her level. Let L advise first
I just talked to DD. I'm the "bad guy" because I didn't play X 's game and "visit" with her and her brother on Sunday during the time X would allow.
Danged if I do, danged if I don't.
"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12 Bomb and OM 12/15/06 Separated 01/02/07 Divorced 05/13/08 X married OM(OMH) 08/2009 Married 06/09/13
The visiting thing, that's not in your custody order is it, I thought you had joint custody? Is your X making you the bad guy, telling your kids that you don't want to see them or something? My kids tend to ask if things are ok with their dad; my D13 has called him the "decider", but they also are into being fair and equal time and 50/50 and value that concept. You don't need to play X's games; let your L handle that; but I would try to communicate some of what's going on with your kids.
