Hacker and Berto! Thanks for stopping by. I think it's a big boost to H, getting his MCSE. He got a little ticked because I "confused" people by telling them about it when he still has two more tests to upgrade the certification. I just told him that I didn't care, because I wanted to brag about him and it was a fact that he had the certification. I think he's just being humble (or maybe paranoid), but I'm resolved not to let him go unnoticed. He'll just have to get used to my irritating habit of saying what a great guy he is. Life's tough.
H and I don't agree on most political issues. H can't stand disagreement or debate. I am very opinionated and thrive on being absolutely right at the top of my lungs. These are not compatible traits.
So as elections heat up, I've been stopping myself mid-rant to pry a little opinion out of my H, who clearly doesn't want to discuss the issue after he's determined that I have squared myself off on the opposing team. By managing to keep my mouth shut and listen (this is very hard), I've gotten him to express himself if only briefly.
Yesterday was the primary. After we got back from voting, I asked him if he'd voted right. He looked alarmed, but asked me how he was supposed to vote. I weaseled it out of him. We'd agreed on two issues, disagreed on the rest. I told him happily that we had cancelled each other's votes and could relinquish responsbility for whatever happened on all but the issues we'd agreed upon.
He gave a bit of a speech on one of the more polarizing issues. I challenged him on a couple of points, but gave the floor back to him to finish his thoughts. It was almost like a discussion; except I'm sure my H wasn't pleased that I didn't tell him he was right in the end. I probably should have mentioned that his argument had some merit. Well, it will probably come up again, I'm sure.
Saturday, we were in the car when he saw some furniture on the side of the road. I'm all about dumpster diving, but this stuff was ugly. I told him so; and he said, "But I could really use something like that for my place." Nesting!?! Ouch!
I said, "You don't even have a sofa. Why do you need an end table?"
He said, "Well, that's because you wouldn't let me have the sofa." This is a reference to when we bought a sofa set together this year, and it ended up staying at the house. He delayed picking it up and then he decided to leave it there... at least that was what I thought. Turns out he thinks I wanted it. Far be it for me to come between my husband and his desire for freedom and a home of his own, I told him to come get the sofa immediately. I didn't use my calm, sweet voice either. H was telling me not to be silly and that I could keep the sofa. I was really upset.
At that moment we pulled into the driveway of his brother's house, so H wanted to pretend like nothing happened. I went inside, and talked to SIL about insignificant stuff for a minute until I was able to get it out of my mind.
When we left we had to drive by the same furniture, so the feeling came back. I was pretty much resolved to renting a truck and moving his sofa by myself. H said, "What's wrong?" It was probably better to have had a couple of hours for me to think about it because I had a much better idea of why the whole thing bothered me so much. I told him that I hadn't made a big deal about the sofa because I thought he was coming home, but that I do not want to be "the woman who took his sofa." He said that he had never said he wasn't coming home, which was good, but I was on a roll. I said, "I don't want to be the woman who took your LPs or your telescope or your wine or any of the other stuff you're storing in the basement. When I borrowed your drill I gave it back. If there's something you want out of the house, you can take it and I don't care if it's something that's mine or not." He said, "I know you don't want my things. I know you're not like that."
That was when the conversation turned (probably because of something I said) back to the subject of his moving home. He said that he misses me when I'm not around, so he thinks about moving home. Then he comes home and I tick him off, so he thinks he shouldn't move home. I can't remember what I said after that, but he asked me if I was going to throw him out again if he moved home. (This is a point of contention between the two of us. In my version, he left me.) I told him that I might throw him out if he doesn't move home. I think he flinched. These are stronger words than I intended, but I do believe time is running out.
Very soon he's either going to have to move home, make a break with me or come up with some new series of excuses for not moving home. It's his last option that concerns me most, because it would mean that it's up to me to end the madness. Yick!
Well, let's hope it doesn't come to that. Maybe I'm an optimist at heart, but I do see things moving in a positive direction; and I think these flare ups are natural... especially with bull headed people like H and me. Well I gotta stop griping and get to work on the house. Y'all take care. --z
BTW: H and I are thinking about having a family motto: Che catso fai?! The rated G version translates as "What the hell are you doing?", but literally it's a lot more offensive than that. We're having a good laugh about it.
