Well, in my case H thought I would run him through he'll and back as woman wronged. Thank goodness for this site, I found the strength not to. We did not really start communicating until three months later, I mean really communicating. He is still not with me, with GF, but we are friends. It took me doing a complete turn around of who he thought I was going to be to get to that point. He said that he left and fully expected to be happy. He did not expect that he would be the same but that I would be happy.
So, if I had remained NC I am sure that he would have thought I just felt the same way he did. I live my life, am happy, but also reach out to say hi etc. the thing is for me to admit that I love him and remain friends and not be a vindictive witch is so opposite of what he expected that it confuses him.
I can't say this is DBing perfectly, but I found it works. It also puts me in limbo, which is not an easy place to be. But I think, if you put yourself there and accept what it means, it can be okay for as long as you need it to be.
