Hey, Berto! Good to hear from you. I've been checking in on you from time to time, but you seem to be laying low.
Last night H and I ended up having a talk about children. He was bent on encouraging me to leave him and find a man who wants children. He missed the part where I chose him over children. Yeah, I wish I could have both but since he believes "that you never have any fun again" after you have children it looks like I have to make a choice. He thinks it's an unreasonable sacrifice on my part. I'd be a lot better off if he would stop assessing himself as a burden to me.
He tells me that I should find someone else, not because I'm disposable, but because he thinks he is. He does not understand that when he calls himself a loser, he's talking about the man I love. Frankly, I don't appreciate it. Woe to him on the day I decide to believe him.
I talked to our C briefly today to let her know we were stopping therapy. I told her that she had a couple of stubborn-heads, who apparently needed more time to grasp the concepts we'd been given already. She said she enjoyed having us in therapy...huh... she must have been in a different place than me, because I didn't think she appreciated us one bit. Two argumentative people on one couch meant that one of us disagreed with her at least once in every session.
H does not believe he's argumentative, but he may just say that to disagree with me -- hee, hee. I keep telling him that he couldn't stand some woman who always deferred to him. AND I think he should be enheartened by the fact that when we do reach a conclusion together it is clearly a well-considered decision. AND I think he should be flattered at how often a woman as intelligent as I am is in agreement with him. He is dubious about my entire argument... preferring to dream of what it would be like to be married to some facile nitwit.
Here's a wierd one. H and I had a political argument last night. Not one of those respectful, "I think that..." arguments. In short, he said something crass, I called him a hypocrite, and we clarified our points at the tops of our lungs. It ended as abruptly as it started, and from my perspective I felt understood and I know I understood him. Looking back I think it should have ended a bit more definatively, but my guess is that H thinks it shouldn't have happened at all... ever.
The interesting part of the argument that ended in less than a minute and will probably be thrown in my face next week is that when H walked out of the room I noticed the dogs cowering in their beds. I yelled into the other room. "H get in here! Your dogs think we're going to kill each other!" H walked back into the kitchen to soothe the dogs. I gave H a kiss, which he returned without hesitation. Yup, it will be very interesting when he inevitably uses this of an example of how miserable together we are.
