I have been pondering (what a surprise!) earlier comments that pointed out SDA Lady's lack of physical intimacy early on in the R as a sign of not being into me. I have to disagree. The fact is that Asian culture does not date in the same way as North American culture and I knew that going in. Voldy and I dated for one month before she would even let me kiss her goodnight. She married me for 17 years. The Philippines is a very conservative culture and physical contact, whether kissing, hugging, touching is very restrictive. I remember SDA Lady telling a friend that if she dated guys from here she had to be prepared for the fact that when they meet her they might actually want to shake her hand or even hug her. SDA Lady told her not to be alarmed by that because here it is considered acceptable. It was two months before SDA Lady would allow kissing. I think in her mind she was way over the line when she held my hand after three dates! We discussed the physical intimacy thing also, even doing "you-know-what", which is how she would refer to sex lol. She finally felt OK about physical intimacy (not sex yet...that took seven months) because her best friend told her "you're not dating in the Philippines anymore. Stop treating Whatis like you are!". So in my mind at the time and now, the physical intimacy thing was not a "sign" of anything but a lady trying to come to terms with two differing cultures. Often when women come here they either become like college kids away from home the first time (my co-worker lives with one of those) or they stick to what they know and it can certainly cause issues in dating. Now, the question is whether someone can deal with or wants to deal with that kind of cultural difference in a relationship. I'm kind of gravitating towards finding someone from where I'm from and one of the reasons I go to the church I do is because there are a lot of people from my culture there. It feels good. Anyway, I was talking to my co-worker today about this (we're good friends) and he told me he has a friend who's dating a Filipino and has been for a couple of years now. His friend told him that he wasn't allowed to kiss her for six months. OMG, that would make me insane! But, love is funny that way lol.
