I feel for you and everything you've gone through. You're walking the tightrope here because it seems that any movement in either way will make something happen. I've lived that for awhile too.
I think the most clear thing, though, is that it may make things happen that are in opposition to your goals. Stay the course for a awhile longer and let your W believe in your changes.
When is your son's bday? That'll be a lot of fun to plan. And it'll be special for your son too. Mostly, it'll impress the socks off your W and may make her a little jealous about the attention.
My H recently gave our d18 special attention for her bday and it really made me see the tender man that I missed and actually made me jealous of d18 for this attention. Which would be great IF he wanted to work on M... but anyways, it could really help your situation.
