It's been a difficult couple of weeks but that's to be expected. What wasn't really expected was how much I would miss H and it's stirred up some feelings. As my friend said "it stirred the sh!t pot."
This is the first loss since the BD and H has been with me through a lot of loss. He was always the rock and I always needed that. But he did provide some of that in a way. He sent an email and started by saying he hoped I was OK. He then went on to give me some suggestions about handling some of the loose ends of my brother's life. He prefaced it by saying, "I wanted to share them at the risk of seeming insensitive, I'm not."
I thanked him and said I know he's not insensitive, but rather pragmatic and I appreciated his suggestions. This was a loss for him too. My brother and he always got along well and they had been in each other's lives for a long time.
there are a lot of firsts after BD and this was another. i think all the firsts and especially losses stir up complex feelings. i am glad you are taking care of yourself by GALing, even when you have to push yourself a bit.
one day at a time is right.
Me(f): 51 W: 41 DP:8 M:3 T:10 "W not happy" 7/11 D final: 8/13
