All your "revelation" shows is that you haven't been paying attention to what people have been telling you.
For one thing, 4 months of doing 180s without seeing any changes is not a big deal. Remember I had 3 years of very short answers with my W until she actually started opening up.
Second, you analysis of your W wanting you to step up to increase business and how she finds you attractive, etc. is just BS. If that was the case she wouldn't be with an unemployed guy and having sex with him.
When are you going to start understanding that there is no "logical" way to think of this? There is no definite solution. Sometimes it really does take time.
The only thing you haven't done differently is kick her out and lay down a boundary. She blames you for alot of things but never understands that her "job" is to support you no matter what your decisions are. And not to bad mouth you to someone else.
SM, read this ^^^, then read it again, then again and again for good measure (especially the first line). I am simply astonished that here you are, almost 5 months from your first post, still looking for that "AHA" smoking gun moment that will explain away everything in your sitch. There is no single thing that landed you in your sitch and no single thing that will allow you to snap your fingers and get out of it. You really need to break out of this pattern of "more of the same" behavior that you've engaged in since the beginning!
