Hey, thanks Hacker. I almost never get whacked. It's nice to know you care.
I'll keep all of that in mind. It certainly is true about assumptions. I was reading your scenario and thinking, "That sounds exactly like me." Oops! Sometimes H says stuff, and I have to keep in mind that's just a feeling of the moment.
I also agree about never being perfect. My goal is that we understand and respect each other's differences. It seems like we make little baby steps in that direction all of the time.
Like I said, H is dealing with some problems right now. He does not want to accept my help. We had a long talk about it. He was very complimentary of me and my ability to help him, he just doesn't want to accept my help. I told him that I understood, which gave him pause. I clarified that I knew he wants to handle this on his own and be independent. I also knew that it was harder to accept help from me than from anyone else because I'm his wife and he thinks he should be taking care of me. Then I told him that I understood why he needed to explore other avenues, but that I would be angry if he let false pride guide him toward a course that was less advantageous to him than accepting my help.
He was really listening to me. We even discussed what I need to do to get things set up on my end, if he does need to rely on me. He's the subject matter expert, so he got to give a lot of marching orders, which probably made him feel more in control. I can tell he's feeling very vulnerable right now, so nurturing is the best thing I can do for the time being. We'll pull through this one way or the other.
I just wish it were September. There are so many nice things that are going to happen between now and then, but it seems everything is going to start clicking into place at the end of summer. The house should be in better order by then, so I can decide whether or not I'm going to sell this year. My finances should be organized by then. I might even know whether or not I have cancer, which seems like a good thing to be sure about. I might even have a better idea on how the downsizing is going to go with next year's budget cuts. Believe me, I'm trying hard to enjoy right now, but the future looks so much nicer from here.
