Sounds like you're making progress! Reading that post made me think that a lot of things have changed in a short amount of time.
Now for the 2X4
Quote: I can tell H thinks we're still "wrong" for eachother.
I get the feeling I'm being a little too independent for H's preference
One of the fundamental differences between men and women is that men act and think based on facts and facts alone. Women tend to think based on intuition and feelings. This was one of the overriding reasons why I wound up on the "Big D" board: I didn't follow her intuition and she made decisions without looking at all the facts.
Try not to make assumptions because they will nag you in the back of your mind. If you think things like what you wrote, he may do something tomorrow that makes you think you were right when, in fact, it could be something else bothereing him that has nothing to do with you. You just happen to be someone close that he can vent to or transfer his problem to. It's that whole "projecting problems" thing. Sometimes, you aren't responsible one bit for another's problem but you get the brunt of the blame. It's better to back up those "feelings" and "intuitions" with hard facts.
Right now, from what you are writing, you look like you're both making progress. Remember that neither of you is ever going to be perfect in the other's eyes. Both of you have to learn to accept each other's quirks as along as they do not pose a serious problem in the M. He's got his, you got yours. Don't try to fix everything so that you're perfectly compatible. Just accept them for what they are and focus on the good things.
Try this little exercise: Every morning and every night, think of 5 things that you really like about H and keep those in mind throughout the day and when you go to sleep. When those quirky things come out in him, remember the five things you told yourself. Soon, you will start to see that you hold more and more admiration for him.
Also remember that this is primarily about patience. Focus on the baby steps and the present. Let the big picture and the future take care of itself. You're heading in the right direction. Just keep at it and, eventually, he will be back home.
Don't worry about your "independence". That's a good sign! The more independent you both are, the more the relationship becomes based on wanting to be together, rather than needing to be together. That's good!
