T^2 is absolutely correct, people do not choose to go through the mlc. It happens because of childhood issues/traumas. They were emotionally stunted as children and now they are trying to figure out what happened to them. Each and every person goes through a life's transition at different times in their lives, i.e., generaly at the ages of 20, 30, 40, etc. If people do not navigate these life transitions, eventually a mlcer will occur. It's not a pleasant journey for them because it is very, very painful and to have to go back to that time and try to grow up and be mature adults, well, let's just say it's their worse nightmare.
Just because you don't see bumps, bruises, cuts, scrapes, etc., that doesn't mean that they aren't hurting. The hurt is emotional pain and until they can resolve those issues of long ago, they will continue to experiment w/different quick fix, feel good outside sources, such as drinking, gamboling, drugs, spending, and op.
If you haven't already read the resources at the top of this forum, please do so. They will help you better understand some of what they are going through.
The more you learn about mlc, the more you'll be able to understand what they are going through.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
