Thanks SemperFi00, I am trying my hardest today and feeling a little better. Need to stop thinking of W as something I can't have, or did have but lost and think of her as a good friend for now.

I have started on my path to GAL today, and am going to meet up with people in my field of career in a few weeks - new people and hopefully new friends. This is the first GAL that is probably purely for me.

PMA is still mostly in tact around W. amazing how she can't just comment or tell me something simple these days. Even the minor things are a big issue. For instance instead of saying 'careful you don't knock that bottle over love' its more like 'watch it, you nearly knocked that over *sigh*'

Me: 38 W: 35
M: 9Yrs T: 15Yrs
S8 D5
BD: Feb 13
Still Living Together

I feel like I'm in thick forest, I'm slowly drawing a map of the way out, but not sure yet which side of the forest I will emerge.