WAS Moving out date 1 May 2012

[Rockwallaby]

I feel I let myself down yesterday. Last week C asked WAS what the baseline would be for her too stay in house. WAS said it would be an assurance that I would not change my mind. I gave this, I knew she had to make a decision on the lease last Friday for a property and I had a session with DB Coach Thursday evening followed by a work engagement. I did not bring the lease up again with WAS as this would add pressure to her decision.

I waited till yesterday to ask as it had not been mentioned and WAS said had signed, that I had not made myself available and it showed I did not care and confirmed her dicision to move. She was from her body language quite angry but not able or willing to express this. I am sure if I had of approached the subject on Thursday she would have said I was hounding her. I had discussed this with DBG coach so I said I was sad she had decided to leave and that I understood and wanted her to be happy.

WAS has agreed we should share the children equally and we have agreed a price that I buy her out of the house, last week I asked her to communicate this to her lawyer, she says there is no hurry to formalise it because we agree. This is either because she might change her mind on shared residence or she does not want to make the final cut. She has taken a year lease. My lawyer says I should formalise the arrangements top protect myself and my bank has given me approval for finance which expires in a month.

To protect myself I think I have to proceed with buying her interest in the house and formalising equal care arrangements now. I think I need to go dark when she leaves, yet make it clear that I remain open to trying to work things out should she wish to. I am worried about communicating this without appearing like I am pleading or weak, as I know she hates this.

I need to show I am detached and do this in a way that is not emotional. Any advice?