I thought the same thing Mr2.4, amazing comparisons with the teenager behavior, exercise, and clothes. Do they issue some sort of "MLC for Dummies" book that I am not aware of?
Hang in there and listen to the wise advice on here Intact, these folks have REALLY helped me on the early stages of my journey.
CB
Me; 42, W; 43 M; 16 yrs S12, D9
3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure" 5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Just seen her actually (very briefly) all dressed up in new clothes & shoes and going to get a haircut.
Sounds like you are having a similar day to me. W was dressed in something earlier, that I would have made me the happiest man in the world 6 months ago. You know when you are looking at buying something, but can't quite afford it, and all you do not matter where you go is see what you want everywhere, to the point where it's like somebody is teasing you...
Me: 38 W: 35 M: 9Yrs T: 15Yrs S8 D5 BD: Feb 13 Still Living Together
I feel like I'm in thick forest, I'm slowly drawing a map of the way out, but not sure yet which side of the forest I will emerge.
My MLC H did the same...although, he first wanted to deny A even when I had proof in front of him. I think our society needs to put more emphasis on this epidemic of MLC! Don't get these people that don't know happiness and looking everywhere but inside.. I have teenage boys. I love my H as do they, but want to tell my boys please don't act like him!
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
I agree - actually one of the things I find most frustrating regarding my W - isn't that she's done this to our family (that obviously hurts) but it's her inability to see that the situation has had and is having repercussions on our Son.
He played up in school, tells his Mum to "f off" yet is very well behaved when with me. I told my W he needed counselling but she just couldn't see it. I was amazed.
I ended up booking him into counselling myself.
What also amazes me - is this stuff is so text book and so scripted how can they NOT see that they are having a MLC? The rest of the world can (with the exception of her parents and OM I presume) but not her.
W 39 Me 33 M 9yrs 8 year old Son ILYBINILWY - Dec 12 W moved out - Jan 2013 OM - Jan 2013 I file for D - May 2013
I suppose I'd like to know other than GAL and 180s is there anything at all I can do that may help to clear the fog or is it just a case of the waiting game?
Stop waiting and start living.
Letting go and moving forward and as Snodderly said to live your life "as if" she is not coming back.
Also as far as her current age, I would agree that she is acting like a teenager, although I have also seen MLC'er that act like two year olds, or 4 year olds.
They are too young to date at that age. But they are still in MLC.
For some reason we can do nothing to speed up their journey, but we can slow it down.
So my feeling is to try to not get in the way and slowing down the extremely slow process.
It does thank you. One thing I am struggling with is that I know that my W will want our son to meet and spend time with the OM soon. I'm really not comfortable it as I know nothing about him and I also believe our son would be uncomfortable about it. Also not sure i will ever be happy with our son meeting the man that was "there" like a vulture at the end of our marriage. I mean this guy was with her 2 days after she left whilst I dealt with our sobbing son.
How on earth do I handle this when she asks?
W 39 Me 33 M 9yrs 8 year old Son ILYBINILWY - Dec 12 W moved out - Jan 2013 OM - Jan 2013 I file for D - May 2013
