So I havent posted in a while, should be a good sign right???
Ive been doing the same that I have since I joined here, following the 37 rules to the best of my ability, following Kaffe's advise. Leaving my wife alone about this situation and just living and doing the right things....
Sunday, it all stopped. My wife and I have been communicating and parenting well, we have been enjoying each others company.... She was rambling Sunday night, in a good mood, I felt it was right and just asked "are we going to keep ignoring the issues or are we going to deal with them and get our relationship back on track?" She thought for just a moment, I could see she was struggling so I jumped in and said "We can handle this any which way you like. We dont need to go over everything if you dont want to. If you want to just put your ring back on and start to move things forward we can". I stopped there. She started to say things that from my perspective were not true. I didnt voice this. She said things that were somewhat hurtful, I didnt say anything. I just told her after she was done speaking that I was not here to defend myself or clarify anything. That I was simply here to listen and understand her perspective and to try and figure out how I can best help put our relationship back together. She agreed to. I slept in bed last night for the first time in 6 weeks!
The other thing that did not happen and I was proud of myself for this because it has been a weakness of mine, I didnt bring up anything she does wrong or suggest that there were things that she needed to fix. I really hope that she see's these issues and puts effort into fixing them but I have to fix me and my contribution first... and hopefully she will come around with me operating this way. Even if she doesnt, I am improving myself and becomming more of a man and more of a role model for my kids.
One dark chapter down!!!! Obviously this is a long book that has many chapters but honestly I am glad to have that one done and over. I need to stay focused and make many of the new habits just that, habit.
