i know- isn't it icky how "alike" we all sound - we sure have alot of people "in our boat". now, if we could somehow magically (& happily) float away from the sick, troubled and damaging r we're in and just go -
oh yeah- since i'm in fantasy land at the moment- lets also meet up with another boat full of men our own ages, with lovely personalitits , lovely-giving-understanding- manly- strong- wise- honest - HONEST - HONEST HEARTS AND each of them (oh yeah - dark hair- muscles & strength (just throwin it in here) - magically gravitates to the appropriate one of us - and we sail away forever to a life of fun & bliss & perfect harmony (HARMONY - REMEMBER THAT????) THE end.
whew- felt good- i know- i feel in it with you guys- when you speak i FEEL it on a gutlevel- being in same position.
you know tho- reading your posts - your h's position that you didn't give him enough attention- i think that is his "thing" to hone in on- the thing that he can use to make you feel bad & responsible for allllll this. you know- shove it off on you.
I'm not being ratty- i think it's formula action.
my h has "messy house & too much stuff". you'd think it was in our living space- it's not. my workroom & closet are a mess- i'm a crafter and see potential in everything- it's a mess- nothing at all like the stuff one sees on tv- it's run of the mill living in a house mess - no kidding. (BUT - it's what he uses to make himself not the bad guy. )
I think they all find one thing to hammer away with-
i feel like you- he made me his mother, everything- and here i am- less fun & exciting than ow because i'm soooo familiar, etc. he can't see it- i can - but that doesn't change or fix a darn thing. he thinks he's alllllll in love- i could throw up-
he can't let go of me- i'm gettin pretty sick of no LOVE
just got off phone fromlong long call w him - even saying i would prefer not to hate him totally (but am on way) and also would prefer not to feel any love for him too (am almost there) -
it's like you- it's like dawn - it's like everyone here. soooo does this fortify me that mwd is right and he'll be one of the 75% that regains normalcy someday (and will i give a $hit? ) that's the question- honestly- HONESTLY-
????????????????????????????????/
this woman is exhausted- throw in my poor old (scratchy & offensive) mother slowly going nuttie-pie down the street & many calls & confusions a day- sewn to my back (other sisters are waaaaaay toooooo busy & important to bother with a mere human being who is lonely & scared & ancient & lonely.....
