I see a lot of positives dan! She sounds very conflicted, but still seems attached to you. And she wants your friendship and worries you hate her. You have a lot in this situation that can be built on. Validate what she's feeling and affirm your friendship and support!
Her comments about not being a project make me think you're a 'fix it' guy & have been trying to fix her for some time. Your efforts may have grown from love, but they made her feel unable to care for herself. That's where the space comes into play. She needs the strength to know she can do on her own and you can support her and grow in this transition. How would you do that? By GAL and being your best self. By showing her unconditional love and support. That doesn't mean you have to accept her friendship only marriage, but following DB rules you should agree with her that the M isn't working and your commitment to give her time and space to figure things out.
Be your true self, a great dad and the best you! If you're confident and your life is shining, it'll draw her in. But you want her to feel that she can stand on her own two feet and doesn't just have to come back to you and an unhappy marriage to get by.
