It feels like she is maybe wanting me to spend more time with My dim contact has obviously been noticed. It's tempting to change this but I can't really say why I should.
It's tricky business navigating these waters sometimes. I've been dim for months and have started backing down from it to see how it goes. I've been texting and talking to W more and she's been very receptive so far. The trigger for me was when I talked to her by phone a couple of weeks ago and she said she was ready to start the D paperwork. At that point I figured I had been dim long enough and it was time to try something different.
Quote:
I do think I should show more interest when she contacts me. For the last 3-4 days I have been short. I think this has pushed her buttons.
Don't be short with her even when dim because it will leave her with the impression that you're mad at her. Even when detaching Michele says to "lovingly" detach, so it's not about being cold or indifferent, just about pulling back and removing pressure.
Quote:
How do I know when I should push for something else?
DB'ing is all about doing what works and discarding what doesn't work. It's not about doing one thing over and over again. Good DB'ing includes changing things up now and then. So make some adjustments and monitor the results. If the sitch improves then keep it up, if things get worse then reverse course.
I think people are so afraid they're going to make their sitch worse that they don't want to ever change anything, but if you don't change things up now and then you don't know if you're on the right track or not.
