T1000, sounds like a good idea to be warmer when speaking w/ W. I go for the humor approach. H & I always enjoyed laughing together, share a similar sense of humor. The more inappropriate the better... so I try to make him laugh. It actually makes me feel like when we were younger and I enjoyed making him laugh. Hadn't happened for a long time. I ended up testing the waters by texting H a funny last night. Got a haha back so I'll leave it at that for now.
Originally Posted By: azguy
Maybe your MC will want to address this. Should you? How would you even bring it up without sounding like you are lecturing him for being impulsive and short sighted? Do you want to come across like you're telling him he's wrong? How do you imagine him reacting to this approach?
labug questioned my comments here & I forgot to address it... the take-away from MC appt (on my end) was that H was under the influence (admitted a lot of deep sh!t I didn't know about, hiding alcohol & continuing to take rx after surgery when he didn't need anymore, right before he left). And in THIS altered state of mind he decides to leave family. His leaving was so out of character, maybe the altered state is the only excuse that makes sense. But it's the supporting this decision for all this time that I can't comprehend. That's what I want to point out. Dude was not making good decisions with his health or way of living. And in the midst of making these really poor decisions, he decides to abandon his family. All of that can be understood, but what's with the still not wanting to work on M and H's statement that 'he made a decision when he left'? They don't let people in his confessed condition make legal decisions in a court of law, but H's standing by his 'I made a decision' statement??
If given the opportunity, like if MC asks 'what did you think about last visit, any questions?' I thought that may be the time to point out the obvious. Maybe not. I've been chewing on this all week and appreciate labug's perspective that he may not have seen any other way. I want to understand that. I've learned that it's generally best to do the opposite of what I feel I have to do, so I'll probably sit on this for awhile and hope MC makes the point instead of me.
azguy, I can only imagine the true H is underneath this reactionary man that I see now. The H from the past 20 years would've kicked this H's ass. In MC, when the affair did come out, H looked at me and said 'i'm so sorry you have to go through this'. That's the man I'm fighting for. Thank you for your support! I didn't storm out of the session (like the last time)! Very proud of that at least.
Very proud of that at least. 
