In regards to Family Day, change that too if it's obviously not working. I wouldn't cancel it just bend it slightly. Change the dynamic wether it's where it happens or what activities your doing. Maybe say your planning on doing (insert activity) on that day and if she wants she can come.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
Was self reflecting this morning, and realized that I have slid back into the mental place where I have been reacting to what W does instead of being detached and happy.
Rewrote my list of actions/goals to be focused on me and S. I really have to stop thinking about my W and give her real emotional space. Even though I have not been pressuring her directly she must have felt my subconscious desires for her to be one way or another.
Today is a new day with a renewed focus on my well being. I really need to stay off the roller coaster.
Me-36 W-31 M-7 S-5 BD Dec/12- things were wrong for awhile, head was in the sand
Seeking means: to have a goal Finding means: to be free, to be receptive, to have no goal
It has been been awhile since I have posted. Have taken the time to evaluate where I am and what I have been doing.
In a very good place for me now. Stopped focusing on how W would want me to act or worrying about what she wants from our interactions. No more walking on eggshells.
Been getting out, building some great new friendships and having a blast with my son. Also I have been able to work out a way to clear the debt W and I have from the past 6 months. Then I can make payments on the amount without her being involved. I feel great about this as it was the last remnants of mutual negativity. It will hopefully finish clearing the slate between us so she can be less stressed and start to figure out what she wants.
As for me, life is great. Been moving forward with clarity.
Me-36 W-31 M-7 S-5 BD Dec/12- things were wrong for awhile, head was in the sand
Seeking means: to have a goal Finding means: to be free, to be receptive, to have no goal
W engaged in several conversations with me over the weekend. Good opportunities to listen to her and validate her feelings.
She talked about how she misses me, but then is still really mad at me sometimes. Told me how great I have been with our son. Said she is still very confused and doesn't know what to do. She also said that she sees the changes happening and still can't understand how I can be so calm about out sitch. She told me that part of her wants it all to just be over and to tell me to move on. She made a comment about there being plenty of women in the world.
But then she said that the thought of me with someone else made her upset, and she was upset that our sitch put me on the path of becoming a better person but someone else was going to enjoy the improvements instead of her. ( that comment almost made me spill the beans and just say something stupid like "well let's just work it out then"...learning to keep my mouth shut and not belittle her feelings.)
She asked me what I felt, I told her that my happiness starts with me, and that is what I choose every day. She asked what I want from our sitch, I told her for now my hope is that we can reconcile. But I understand she needs to feel right about her own decisions. There is no pressure to make any choices at this moment but I am going to keep moving forward and will not live in a limbo state indefinitely.
All in all I feel like I handled the interactions well. I am sure I could have said some things differently but I am not worried about one misstep. Just going to keep focusing on my growth. W can decide what she wants. I will be fine either way.
Me-36 W-31 M-7 S-5 BD Dec/12- things were wrong for awhile, head was in the sand
Seeking means: to have a goal Finding means: to be free, to be receptive, to have no goal
Sounds like it went very well and that your changes are having a real positive effect.
I think sometimes comments about the being plenty of women in the world are a test.
On Monday my W mentioned something about my next relationship is going to benefit from all my changes. That was about 2 hours before we discussed and agreed to try again.
Looking back I believe she wanted me to tell her there wouldn't be anyone else and that I wanted her. I never because that would have been spilling the beans.
The ball is in her court, she's knows it. You just have to carry on and wait for her to hit it back.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
Stay strong my friend... Can't offer much right now other than that, but i'm so encouraged by you strength. I'm in the begining phases of my sitch and i'm currently looking to move out now. It's just a very desolate place to be in right now. The roller coaster is in full swing right now. So just want you to know i'm drawing from your strength!!
Stay strong! Trust me you will be fine. Separating from my W was the best thing that could have happened for my sitch. Like everyone on these boards says, it gets better and you will be ok. Get out and start living, the pain will go away it just takes time.
Me-36 W-31 M-7 S-5 BD Dec/12- things were wrong for awhile, head was in the sand
Seeking means: to have a goal Finding means: to be free, to be receptive, to have no goal
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
