After phone coaching session #2

[azguy]

Wow, reb, this sounds like a lot of new info all at once. You must be on a rollercoaster of emotion. I am impressed with how you handled yourself at the MC. It took a lot of courage to say you wanted to continue after hearing your H's goals. I remember reacting very badly when hearing my W only wanted to go to counseling to discuss our S. What I failed to realize then, was that was an essential starting point if we were to ever repair our R.

I want to beat you up on one point:
"And I wish that MC or I had thought to ask (I may ask next time) H admitted to self-medicating and OW and the really general BAD place he was last summer & since - and THAT'S the mental state that he makes life changing decisions for our entire family in? And after all this time, he's sticking with those decisions?"

Maybe your MC will want to address this. Should you? How would you even bring it up without sounding like you are lecturing him for being impulsive and short sighted? Do you want to come across like you're telling him he's wrong? How do you imagine him reacting to this approach?

On the other hand, I like how you can imagine that there is a better person inside your H than you see right now. I suppose he must be on a similar rollercoaster of emotion. I wish you (more) bravery and patience.