Well, another pretty great day in my mind. After an agonizing Saturday of wondering and loneliness, not knowing if W would answer the invitation to Sunday breakfast, she showed up! Her response was pretty much in the eleventh hour, but she came. She ate breakfast with us (boys and their friends), then hung out for a while. We watched the kids practice for an upcoming gig, cleaned the dishes together, talked a little (though not much due to the rehearsal going on in our living room), etc. I was very nervous most of the time, but I think I did well, and calmed down greatly as time passed. W gave the dog a bath, then took off for a while.
When she came back, we went to Ikea together for hot dogs, then she took me to Walmart to help me find underwear. She said it was because I couldn't find them on my own…she’s probably right, I already messed that one up on my own once recently. I had mentioned that I was looking for some art supplies, so she drove me around a bit to look for them, but no joy, I’ll have to keep looking. We got to talking about s18 graduation gift, and found a good deal on the camera he wanted (Canon T3i) and so we went out and bought it. He is really happy and excited, and I’m happy for him. It will be fun playing around and learning about it with him. When W was leaving at the end of the evening, she gave me a hug and said “Thank you, I had a good day today…” We’ll, back to cloud nine I go…only this time I’m going to just try to enjoy it, not analyze what it means...
I'm also feeling much more comfortable just being with her and enjoying the exposure, with no expectations about things to come. I'm not all the way there yet, but getting better. I'm also beginning to more clearly define things I want to do for myself, and things about me that I want to work on. Seems like progress comes in waves just like all the crazy emotions do, but it definitely HELPS me to be around her...having a reason to hope makes it all so much easier to focus, stay calm, relax, and not feel, well, hopeless. Oh yeah, I even made her laugh and smile a few times…it was great to see her feeling better too...
