Yes TVS doing well, still working on this new business venture together, getting some doors shut in our faces, but we keep pressing on. Hard work, positive attitude and perserverence has to win in the end. Sound familiar?
Overall, sitch is doing quite well. Can't believe its just less than a year since I thought my world was collapsing. H and I have come a long way and I now believe it was a necessary step that he took. We were both on a destructive path. He can be a hard man and maybe not always as communicative as I would hope for, but he has a certain conviction and its his way of doing things. He goes along for ages, and then when it gets too much, he acts. OK so I'm not a bad person by a long shot, but there were just things that I was doing (albeit unintentional) that were adding to our demise. I prefer the way we are now much much more.
Can't want 'til you get here yourself. I believe your H will snap out of it. How could he let the best thing that ever happened to him slip through his fingers. Keep believing and it will happen TVS.
I think it is wonderful that you and H are rebuilding your M. Even throughout all his craziness, there was always a part of you that believed in your H, believed in the man that you married, the man that you love. Hope is an amazing thing...
And you recognizing what mistakes you made, that is tough stuff, but honesty really is the best policy - and I think that includes being honest with ourselves. It also means sorting out what our faults truly are from the rubbish that our S's can spew at us.
I want to believe more than anything that I will get to a point of R one day. I believe - have always believed - that my real H is still in there somewhere, trying desperately to get out.
After all, why would he want to lose the best thing that ever happened to him?
Stay on your path Gal, you're doing great!
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
GalBaby, so good to hear your sitch is sounding so positive. I can only hope some of your good luck runs over to me. Take care and all my blessings and wishes for more positives in your life.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
As we prepare to sign contracts for a new business venture together, I have been pondering about whether to raise issues about our R. I have swung between leaving it well enough alone or using it as an opportunity to bring up issues that may help bring things into the open. I don't believe its entirely healthy to shove my needs under the rug, even though I have learned to look at things differently and am progressing on healing.
I felt an ache when H said we won't go to dinner tonight, because he had golfing with his buddies later in the week and money would be short this week as he would be taking a few days off. He also mentioned I had a few activities with friends this week too. I replied that whilst I enjoyed those things..I really wanted to spend time with him. I got no response to that. The mood became a little uneasy, but I felt it was an opportunity to go on.
I then said...since we are entering into this contract and we will be tied together financially, I would like you to know that I am not interested in being shoved to the side while you carry on your life keeping me in the background. This job should enable you to have more free time and I want some of that to be spent with me.
He said ..I have had no intention of doing that (meaning no intention of shoving me to the side). I replied..well I never know what your intentions are because you never tell me...every now and then you announce you want a divorce, that's all I know.
He then went on to say.. I was going to get you to help me in the business.
Golly gee...this man just doesn't get it...yeah OK we are going into business together. I want a social life with my H. Ask for what you want remember. OK so maybe the words used weren't great, and it did come out of nowhere, therefore a little unprepared, but that was the end of the conversation.
He went to nail some loose boards on the deck before he went to work. Is he seriously an emotional cripple or is it shame, humility, anger, insecurity, or he simply doesn't care? Maybe some guys out there can shed some light.
GALbaby I will reply as per your request, but take it as just my view rather than the be all. Sadly to say H sounds exactly like the old me. Always money for me to do things, no one else could as money was short. It was me being selfish, as long as I bought things/did things for me, nothing else really mattered. Sounds like always time to do my things and the W needs to do her things at the same time otherwise I will get annoyed. I feel he wants you to go into business as a silent partner, to keep you supposedly happy about being this partner, but the reality is he won't discuss things with you, will do things without your knowledge and will have more time to himself to do the things he wants to do. Again this is just my opinion based on the old me and what I would have thought if I was in that type of position. It could also simply be, as you said, that he is just an emotional cripple , and simply just doesn't get you have feelings and wants. I wish and hope for the best outcome for you GALbaby.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
Thanks HWA. I swing between the two. Because H just can't express himself...therefore, I get the wrong message and end up thinking exactly what you said....that he is selfish. I do my best to turn things around and look at it differently, but I can't help wondering if I am just accepting crumbs and I know I deserve far more than that.
Just another bad day I guess. Always hoping tomorrow will be better, and working on my PMA.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
The doctors didn't want to keep her under lock and key for the month, and to the parent's distress, allowed her back home in less than 72 hours. At this stage she is upbeat, but that also could be a "it didn't work this time, I will wait a while" type of action. All I can do is ring and offer my help and try to validate. My weekend was nice, hiked, watched a footy game, went to the go-karts to watch some racing, ran and did school work. Take care.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
