I'm trying real hard to be the Shepard.

[Mtnman]

Not a bad weekend. Baseball game was fun on Saturday, then spent the rest of the day taking it easy. Today we all went to church, then the boys and I went to visit family and play some basketball. W wasn't feeling well, but got over it.

W and I had some good conversation. We discussed how the boys are changing, their personalities, etc. We had a nice talk this evening about their school work and how they're progressing. Several times she brought up her grandmother and father, and how she and/or the boys have some of their traits. They are both gone now, so it's a history that I share. I was very close to both of them.

Yesterday evening W texted to get my thoughts on a fbook comment. She hasn't done that in a few weeks, then back and forth texts about our cats.

This evening she started new iPhone games with me. We used to play them often, but not since January. It's been fun to have little things to do with her.

I think the text y'all helped me with on Friday has helped her relax. It's helped me too. The last three days have been an eye opener for me. The other day I mentioned I can see how depression is at the core of this. That's helped me tremendously. Somewhere I also mentioned how I went through the same at the beginning of our marriage. For years I questioned why God allowed that to happen to me. Now I know at least one reason. I understand where W is, and why. I know how scared she is. I know how she's searching for answers, and wishing she could run away. I also know why I love her as much as I do. She stood by me like a rock when I had my issues, and I'm forever grateful.

You've heard it said that when they get through this they're a better spouse and think so much of the lbs. Its true! I never seriously considered leaving her, but when I came through the other side, I knew what she meant to me. When we get through this, other couples may not envy us so much as find us disgusting. It'll be like the Seinfeld schmoopie episode.

Lord, let it be!