Hi Grizz...I totally understand those feelings. Curious to hear about this other woman cbt... do share?
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Sort of I guess. I played in a golf tournament last weekend. I met this girl Saturday after the tournament. She contacted me Thursday and asked if is like to go out for dinner and drinks with some of we friends. It was one of her friends 35th birthday Friday. So it was a group thing. I must admit I was nice to have a night out where I hardly thought about W and sitch. It was nice to have someone laugh at my jokes and not feel like I had to watch every word. We did end up going back to my apartment. Grizz, I'm not going to lie. It was very nice to have the touch and attention. When you feel so rejected for so long it definitely went a long way to boost my confidence. Having said that, I do not plan on pursuing at this time. I do want to work on my marriage. You've seen where I have said if we dot make it to MC on 5/7 that I will move on. Well then at that point I would probably pursue. I won't give up on my M, but I will not just sit and do nothing while she is out pursuing OM. When she tells me "I want to work on our marriage" or something to that effect I will put everything into that
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
I would love to have that touch but, and this may sound stupid, I would feel soooo guilty if I did that. Maybe I would feel different if W was pursuing OM. I don't know. Maybe I will feel different when/if W moves out. She said if she moves out then she is filing for D. I guess we'll see soon enough. You never know what you will do until you are put in a situation.
I hope you guys make it to the MC date. Good luck.
M 37 W 36 T22 M14 D8 D4 8/2012 distanced BD 11/2012 (likely wants D. Feelings have changed.) W move out date: June 8th.
Lol Grizz. It would come back to you. Just be you!
Yeah are sitches are a little different. My W actually filed for D on 12/12/12. We have been separated since 1/11/13 He has been seeing OM since end of January. At some point a couple of weeks ago when I found this out for sure it did become easier to be around women.
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
I want to work on things with my wife. I am unsure if I want her back at this point.
I did go out with a woman on Friday night with a group of people. It was nice to have the attention. But it is something at this moment I will not pursue. This is something I wouldn't have thought of a month ago, so I guess my knowledge of OM changed my feelings. My W is not and has not been the person I married for the last year. She has shown no motivation to want to work on herself. If she does not work on herself then I won't want to be with her. I have been working on me for 4 or 5 months and I like what I'm seeing except when it comes to my wife.
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
I wanted my W to work on things in September when we starting getting back together but she do very much. Other than dropping OM I think it's unrealistic to expect her to change anything else until she see's there is a need or wants to.
What is her motivation to change?
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
C, you said she went back to your apartment. I'm just trying to keep it real.
You can do whatever you want. I just think that if you wanted a relationship with your wife in the future, adding you being with someone at this point is not really going to help, ya know?
I wanted my W to work on things in September when we starting getting back together but she do very much. Other than dropping OM I think it's unrealistic to expect her to change anything else until she see's there is a need or wants to.
What is her motivation to change?
I would hope that she has a 3 and half year old son would be enough motivation for her to change. It's been like this for a year, not just since BD. I was contemplating divorce 6 months before she filed as well. But back in November I decided to start working on things and do things differently. If she wants to be the person she has become then I am ok with divorce. I will do my best to keep a good relationship with we for our son, but that is it.
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
