Still treading water #4

[Grizz]

So W starts her new job on the first. I am guessing I have about 6 weeks, tops, before she leaves. I wish I could say that I have DB perfectly and 100% of the time over the last several months but I have not. This is probably too little too late but let's get this perfect over the next 6 weeks.

ABSOLUTELY NO POUTING (ie being passive aggressive). This $ucks! Everyone knows it $ucks. I can't keep being down when I am around my W. it is so hard to be around her because I still love her and don't want to lose her and I want to touch her. But I can't directly control any of that. Maybe indirectly but not directly. Even with all of this crap going on, I am such a happy person when I am not around my W. As soon as she comes around I shut down.

I have been asked several times over the past few weeks if things between W and I are getting better. They have said that i just seem to be much better off than previously. They are surprised when I say things definitely aren't better. If they saw me around W they would know that things aren't better because I am a different person around her. That is just stupid. So.......

BE ME, EVERYWHERE, ALL OF THE TIME! I can do this.