Possible MLC - Opinions Please

[mrtwopointfour]

So, you can tell I am having a bad day because I am not detached at all today. I keep thinking about how my W is physically becoming the W i always hoped she would be. Over the past 10 years with the baby weight etc, she has been overweight and dressed to hide it. Now she is loosing all the weight, looking slim, she is buying and wearing clothes that she should always have worn - but never did. Why now! Why when she has decided our marriage is over does she become amazing looking! I know it sounds horrid, its not that i did not find her attractive before, and no matter what I have always loved her the same way, but its not helping any with how painful this is.

I must admit I had to leave the room as she was looking at clothes, and some of them were shoes that she would have just previously said ' i can't wear heals like that'. So is this OM going to get the confident, sexy dressed W, that I dreamt she would always have the confidence to be. Is she shopping for her trip away and meeting him not her friend.

I had to stop myself saying anything, and also my mind went back to begging mode for a few seconds.

Problem is she is also being very nice now compared to earlier. Very polite and friendly. If it wasn't for us being in different rooms I would say we were back to normal (i think i've posted all this before - must start that journal again!)

When do you get to the point where you have DB'd too well, maybe become too emotionally switched off so that W believes all is fine, you are taking it very well, so she will get on with it and assume its all turned out fine for everyone.? Thats a little how i feel right now. As if we are divorced and life has moved on.

Not having a good day today! I feel desperate, I feel like i need something to change soon, but i know even if it is - its not going to happen soon.

Sorry just need to tell someone!!!