MLC by MIL death/daughter car accident/new job

[Live4myDay]

Thank you. I've been slowly taking the time to read the post and I have read both DB and DR. It's hard because we have no contact whatsoever except via my S or D. I have questioned my self since reading the books if my behavior or response will bring me closer or further from my goal. It's helped. I just sent email to family members and I included him in an upcoming event my D will be participating in. In the past I never I would have never included him. I have yet to get a response, but I really don't expect one. We'll see if he notices.

You tell me to DETACH? How do I do that? What are the steps or pointers to do? I have a started a new life 1,000 mile from him. Not because of him but none the less I'm stronger and doing well on my own. He detached from me so easily. I noticed when he started to call me by my first name and not the shortened version of it when my daughter came home. Should I do that to him. He is actually the reverse. I always used his long name but everyone knows him by the short version. IDK? I'm thinking of sending him a card that had a saying on it that reminded me of something he used to say to me. It's not too gushy it's just an encouraging card. I want to send it to his work though. It would come across as something different and unexpected. I know patience patience patience and my daughter throws in tolerance. What do you think?