JRG, you are going through a normal, emotional change that we all go through. All will eventually get better, regardless of whether your M is saved. Definitely, part of it is protecting yourself.
The LBS perspective gets clouded sometimes and we think that we are deciding not to R with our WAS. Yet... the reality is... that's not really our choice, at this time. Until and unless the WAS decides they want to come back to the M... they are continuing to choose out.
The question is... even if we decide out... does that mean we don't have to work on our issues, anymore? That we don't take this opportunity to grow in as many, positive ways as we can?
And yes, questioning what you actually miss... the M... or your W... is normal, as well...
Take the time you need to reflect on that. I suspect that for most LBS... the reality is a little of both...
